New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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