She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
