Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My life is pants optional.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
