I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
