saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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