We named our party play list daddy issues
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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