considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
