So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize