yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
