Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
