On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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