Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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