Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
