weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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