i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
