Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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