my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Text me some of your sweat
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
