Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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