I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
