I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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