All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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