Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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