the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I want to make a zoo with you.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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