So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize