Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
