office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize