Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
