so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Found your dick twin last night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize