Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize