she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
