SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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