how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
