these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we're so committed to being not committed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
