2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
