you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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