Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
