Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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