ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
