allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i now understand why vodka
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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