I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
