so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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