my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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