Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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