No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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