I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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