Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
