If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
