I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
