i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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