Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
