i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
