Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
