i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
