You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
