I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
