Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
