This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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