So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
